Carlye in the Hospital

My little girl doesn't get sick very often, but in February she was VERY, VERY sick.  Carlye woke up on this particular Tuesday morning feeling sick to her stomach (she had diarrhea a couple of times after waking up) and asked me if she could take a bath.   I personally thought that she was just trying to get out of school again, but told her that it was fine.  About twenty minutes later she was yelling (very weakly, but still yelling) for me to come help her because she couldn't get out of the bath.  She couldn't stand, she couldn't do anything.  I picked her up, carried her into the living room and laid her on the couch.  I called the doctor while I was dressing her. He told me to get her to the ER as quickly as I could.  I called Carl, and started trying to carry my 'baby' to the car.  She had no strength whatsoever, and was losing the ability to even speak.  She had also started shaking uncontrollably for short bursts of time.  Carl pulled into the driveway right as I put her in the backseat (which took some work, let me tell you - she weighs almost as much as I do!, and together we drove her to Fredericksburg.  When we arrived in the ER and saw Carl carrying her in, they immediately brought us back.  Unfortunately, the room they tried to bring us to was the one that Tamara was in when Carl and Greg saw her for the last time, so Carl refused to put her down on that bed.  Once they understood why Carl wouldn't go into that room the nursing staff scrambled to find us another room.  As soon as we were settled they did all the things that they do at the hospital - hydrating her, pain pills, taking blood so that they can run tests.....and suddenly we realized that this was really serious.  The dr's were even concerned that her kidneys could be shutting down.  After a CT scan they came to the conclusion that it was an infection in her colon, but they didn't know what was causing it.  The ER doctor said that she was too sick for them to treat her here, so we had to bring her to a children's hospital in San Antonio.  It was hard, because the EMT's that were bringing us were the first responders to Tamara's car accident - and also the father of one of our son's friends at school.  When he saw her he teared up, and promised Carl that he would take good care of our girl.  I was able to ride in the ambulance with her and Carl headed home to talk to the boys about what was going on and pack some stuff.

 

When we arrived in SA the emergency room was a nightmare.  We were there for a few hours, and finally able to get a stool sample from Carlye, which they had been trying to get for several hours.  The horrible part was that I had to help her into the bathroom because she couldn't stand, and she started throwing up AT THE SAME TIME!!!!  I am ashamed to say that, as her mother, I failed miserably.  I was holding her up, but the aroma was more than I could handle and I actually let go of her and ran from the room screaming for Carl.  He ran in and grabbed her before she fell down.  It was a miracle that I didn't throw up in that bathroom, too!

Around 2 or 3 in the morning they moved us into a private room because Carlye was under contact precautions.  It took two days before she could even stand on her own.  She was doing better, but only because of the iv fluid's that she was on.  We were in the hospital for six days.  On the fifth day we finally found out that she had shigella.  Our doctor told us later that there was only a 1% chance that it could have been that, but that every other possibility would have been horrible - so we were very thankful.  It's taken weeks for her to begin feeling better, and the doctors told us that she won't be 100% back to herself before the end of April.  We have no idea where she caught it, but we are thankful for our beautiful miracle girl.  And that she is finally well.

Carlye painted a ceiling tile for her hospital room

Golden Retriever came to visit

Second day in the hospital with flowers and balloon from Uncle Greg and her cousins

Daddy cuddling with his girl

Visitors - Nathanael, Uncle Michael, Victoria and Boston (who was petrified to go near her because of all of the tubes in her arms)

Playing bananagrams (Thank you Julianna & Jared!!)

Going home!  She didn't realize how weak she was going to be, and had a VERY difficult time walking out of the hospital, but she was so happy to be out of the hospital that she didn't care at all.  Thank you so much to all of our friends and family who came to visit, called, and sent gifts to cheer her up while she was in the hospital.   You are all such a blessing and encouragement to our family, and we love you all dearly.

Easter

In our family it's a tradition for all of the cousins to get together on the Saturday before Easter to dye Easter eggs at Nani's house.  Here's a few pictures of yesterdays festivities:  Above is a pic of Nani with the eggs.  On the right is a close up of our eggs, we melted crayon shavings over the top of hot eggs, and they turned out really neat.

Going around the table, Cassie, Noah, Chloe (end of the table), Uncle Greg, Victoria, Colton and Boston (other end of the table in the booster seat)

Carlye and Nathanael

Sorry that Chloe was missing her shirt - it was solid white and the daddies solution was just to take it off.  Meanwhile, can you see what color all of her eggs are?  The green ones are Noah's.......

After dying eggs the kids lined up and were rubbing backs.... I think that Noah might be getting the raw end of the deal.

Here's a few pictures of Easter morning, and then the Easter egg hunt at Nani's house:

 

Carlye, Cassie, Victoria and Chloe - I feel the need to add that Carlye's dress really is longer, but that ridiculous elastic waist kept riding up as she was holding the little ones and moving around......

Boston, Colton, Noah and Nathanael

All of us are doing well considering what's happened.  Colton and Chloe have been in play therapy to help them deal with losing their mommy.  Chloe talks about the accident still, and therapy has given her a great place to do that.  Cassie is struggling with it, but receiving counseling as well.  It will be harder for her for a while.  Greg is amazing - he is dealing with this in such a heroic manner.  I've never seen anyone do so much to help his kids, and become who he needs to be for them right now.  I know that it is hard for him, but he keeps moving forward and I'm really impressed with that.

I'm really struggling with losing Tamara.  Mostly because I miss her, but I struggle with her kids not having their momma anymore.  I'm so thankful that we have amazing family, and we can encourage and love on each other when things are hard.  Two weeks after Tamara died, Carlye was in the hospital for a week with shigella.  Soon after that our close friend, Wally, passed away from colon cancer.  Then a few weeks after that Carl's mom ended up in the hospital with pneumonia - caused by a very rare bacteria that her doctor had to research after the lab results come in.  She's been home for almost 2 weeks now, and we are SO glad that she is getting better.  We have run the gauntlet, and now we are tired - and I am worn.  At this point when everything really is better, and life is settling down I find myself shutting down.  I think I need rest.  I think I may grieve differently than others, but I don't really know.  I've never dealt with a loss like this.  I have a plan to help, and I'm working on executing it, but I've found that I get busy and overwhelmed and then put off taking the time I need to work out or take care of myself.  A vicious cycle, and the only way to break it is to break it.  I've made great strides, but not enough for long enough to see a difference.  Here's to making a positive change, permanently!